Posts Tagged ‘Children’

Scary but real : thoughts after watching A Beautiful Boy and Adolescence

July 9, 2025

Watching A Beautiful Boy is like witnessing a parent do everything possible – read, reason, plead, love – and still watch their child slip away into addiction. Not because they didn’t care, but because sometimes love, when not paired with limits, can become helpless.

The Netflix series Adolescence, featuring Jamie Miller, offers another window into this fragile stage of life. Jamie is not a bad kid. He’s thoughtful, confused, emotional – and like many teenagers, quietly overwhelmed. There’s no one moment of collapse. Just a slow drift, enabled by absent boundaries and unclear guidance.

Both stories are unsettling because they’re so familiar. These aren’t cautionary tales from troubled homes. These are stories that could belong to any family. And they highlight a hard truth: adolescence isn’t just a phase. It’s a vulnerable, high-risk time – and it needs adults who are not only loving, but also strong.

Because here’s the reality: teenagers need rules. They may argue against them, but they need them. Boundaries give them a sense of safety and structure. Adults often hesitate – fearing confrontation, or wanting to be seen as supportive. But when understanding turns into over -indulgence, or when guilt replaces discipline, the results can be damaging.

Respect for money, time, and discipline doesn’t come naturally. It must be taught. And it starts at home – with consistent boundaries, with the courage to say no, and with conversations about effort, responsibility, and consequences.

Yes, adolescents need to be heard. But they also need to be challenged – gently but firmly. Giving in to every emotional outburst, rescuing them from every discomfort, or handing out money and other resources without context teaches the wrong lessons. That actions don’t have consequences. That limits don’t exist.

What A Beautiful Boy and Adolescence make painfully clear is that presence alone is not enough. Adults must also be anchors – calm, firm, and sometimes unpopular. Young people watch more than they listen. They learn from what we tolerate. And in a world that pulls them in every direction, they look to adults for signals – of what’s acceptable, what’s valued, and what’s not.

So yes, be patient. Be calm. Be kind. Listen. Respect. Reason. Forgive. Encourage frankness. But also be clear. Set rules. Teach restraint. Insist on respect – for self, for others, for money, for effort.

Because adolescence isn’t imaginary. It’s messy, confusing, and very real.

But it’s also an opportunity – for growth, for resilience, and for adults to lead – not just with open hearts and patience but also with strong minds steady hands.

Confessions of a confused father

July 3, 2025

Confession Time 📚🙈

I have never read a Harry Potter book. Yes, you heard that right.

This, despite both my children- Siddharth Ratho and Aditi Ratho – being Potterheads. In fact, Aditi’s devotion continues to this day, long after growing up and acquiring all the signs of responsible adulthood (jobs, deadlines, her own business venture now – and the ability to function without a wand 😀).

I’ve always stood my ground – with this (very grown-up sounding) logic:
“Why read fantasy when real life – and fiction based on it – is already so fascinating?”
To which Aditi would patiently say, year after year, “Just read the first ten pages. You’ll love it.”
I didn’t do it. Not becuase I am stubborn- just… habitual realism 😊. My children even got my late father to read a few Harry Potter books. But I did not relent 😎

But then something magical happened.
Aditi’s debut novel — Suzie Mistry and The Imagination Factory — got published last week! 🥹💫

I’m immensely proud – the kind of pride that makes you sniff the pages, carry the book around like a trophy, and tell complete strangers, “My daughter wrote this!”..My late father and late father in law must be so proud too – wherever they are.

…At this point, refusing to read my daughter’s book just because I’m “not into the genre” would be… well… churlish (and grounds for family disownment 😄).

So I read the first page.
And guess what? I’m hooked !
Turns out magic runs in the family after all 🤔

Reading it tonight.
And yes, you can find it on Amazon. 😁

(more…)

Beautiful Life

October 28, 2022

My mother’s father gifted me a football and two hockey sticks

When my parents celebrated my turning six

I held on to these possessions

Until the ball was shapeless and the sticks were outgrown

Such memories are more precious now

Than anything I have done or I may own

Along with my children and their spouses

Who are making homes out of their houses

I have friends who talk about the shapes of their dreams

Write sweet notes, sing soulfully or share piercing poems

Some of them are my wonderful nephews and nieces

With their unspoilt minds, healing hugs and flying kisses